he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize