Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I take back everything I said about communal showers
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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