It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
farters have to be the big spoon...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
