Kiss
Puke
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
