weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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