You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
