my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
