i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize