Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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