You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
