Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
