Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
