Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i think i have two assholes
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
