Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
