So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
