i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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