forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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