Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
