Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
