Dual....:-)
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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