I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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