we're chasing vodka with high fives
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
