I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
