so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if only i could text you this smell
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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