It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize