I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
