What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
