Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
