we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
