just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
