Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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