not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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