none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize