Umm I'm too high to move.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
