I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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