I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
