I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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