Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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