Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Congratulations! We have a period
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