also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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