A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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