Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
