And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
