Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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