Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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