Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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