I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
