And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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