So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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