I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
