I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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