You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
