Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
