I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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