I am puke
I just threw up on my dentist
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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