what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
