john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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