i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
