if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
