She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
