Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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