great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
